Back to Square One

Ever had that feeling when after a long time of not talking to each other, you suddenly decided to text/message/call that person first thing in the morning.. and for some odd reasons, it felt like it's back to square one all over again.

  Yes, back to square one. The place where it's a blank page all over again and you have to start thinking of what beautiful things to put in that blank page. Only this time, you have to be careful and your heart is all guarded up. There are walls built up around you, because you want to make sure that this time, you won't get hurt--- by the same person.

I don't know, but when I woke up this morning.. I tried, I sent him a good morning text. Just a plain one, no sweet stuffs whatsoever. Square one, remember? I know he's not going to reply so I decided not to care but just when I thought he's not going to reply he did. He replied. My heart pounded. It felt like the first time he texted me. The feeling? Sparks fly! Every single time my phone light blinks blue, I get that same old feeling. Only this time, it's guarded. No gooey eyes. No smiles that can light up the world. Only a face that got a random text message coz from that moment on, it's nothing romantic. We're nothing but two individuals going our separate ways not knowing what's in store for us. Just two individuals trying to be friends, trying to be less than the lover that we were before. Going back to square one is no easy task. You go through mind bugging questions whether or not this one's right, what if you two cant be anything but lovers, what if the only reason why you're back to square one is to pretend that you two can be just friends. But what if you two can't be just friends? It's a complex question that people always answer with, "I don't know. We'll see." What if going back to square one means another shot at happiness, at success, at love? But what if this time you fail again. You unexpectedly got your hopes too high.. and theres no other way to hit the ground but to just let yourself fall hard again and feel all the pain.

  Going back to square one would also mean realizing that you have to let go of all the past memories. All the things he did to you, all the things he told you. Gone. All the way down the drain. Clean slate for the two of you. Besides, that's what you want, right? To finally move on and leave all the things that hurt behind. What if you can't? Then don't go back to square one just yet. You're not ready. Face it. No matter how hard you want to go back to square one, if your entire being doesn't respond to the thought of it. You just can't. You'll fail. You'll be bitter instead of being better. That's not your aim. So dear friend, give your self time to think, time to heal and time to regain all the strength you lost. There's no point in rushing things. Take all the time you need. Square one is just around the corner. When you're finally ready, things are going to be a lot brighter, the world gets wider and the view gets more beautiful.

 

 "I see the trees are green, red roses too.. I see them bloom for me and you. I think to myself.. what a wonderful world." 

 

  This time, I'm willing to fight for myself. Not for him and not for anyone else. This time, I'll love myself a little bit more. This time, I'll make my future a bit brighter. This time, I'll make sure I mean it. This time, it's for me. Going back to square one, for me means taking care of myself first before others. Looking out for myself before anything else. Protecting myself from all the possible destructions. Going back to square one for me, means being stronger than I used to be. I should be able to take care of myself first before I can acknowledge the idea of pursuing a love, I'm not even sure if it's even bound to happen or bound to happen again. In time, I'll know. :)

There's something about Blair and Chuck that keeps me going. remember when Blair told Chuck that in order for her to be Chuck's Girlfriend, she has to be Blair Waldorf first. That's what I'm trying to do.. Blair no matter how evil minded she is at times, is my inspiration in rough times. "I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere, now I need to follow my head."  Blair is my kind of woman. I can see myself in her shoe. She's an undeniably strong woman. Going back to square one is already sort of easy for her to do. She's been there and back. I'd like to do that, until everything is finally okay. Until everything makes sense again. :)



Toodles,

Shayne. <3

Gooey&Romantic Day

Because life is a gift and love is the pretty gift wrapper that comes with it! <3 

I remembered weeks ago, I was being bitter and all about Valentine's day or Valentimes day or whatever the heck people wanna call it! (haha!)  I was like, "Whats valentine's day? I dint even know that such thing exists!" But all of a sudden.. it felt like.. some how I din't have to be bitter at all! It felt like for the first time this year.. I am filled with love and appreciation. :) You see, Valentine's day is just an arbitrary day chosen to sell whatever's gonna click to everyone! You dont have to really wait for Valentine's day to show the people you love that you love them.. you can show them any time of the year! You dont need Valentine's day to do that but anyway, it's hearts all over the world today! So lemme greet each and everyone a VERY HAPPY, GOOEY AND ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY! <3

  Chuck: “There’s a difference between a great love and the right love. I left the Empire State building last year after 2 minutes when you didn’t show. Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn’t want it because you’ve never had it, and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale.”
Chuck: “Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not powerful. You’re the most powerful woman I know.”
Blair: “It’s taking all the power I have to walk away from you.”
Chuck: “I know. But I need to let you go. You need to let go.”
Blair: “I will always love you.”Chuck: “I will always love you.” 

 

"When you find someone who makes you smile, when you find someone who makes you learn to love, who makes you wake up to the reality of life, when you find someone who truly listens and shares what he thinks, when you find you want to spend every hour, every minute, every nanosecond with that person, keep him/her and if he's/she's not yet yours, find him/her. Everything starts with that one step that makes all the difference in the world."
 ♥

 

"There is no surprise because love is plain to see, look into my eyes.<3"

     Again, Happy Valentine's Day!

Toodles! :* 

Love, love:

Shayne  

20 Tips :)

Copied this post from: http://fashcayuca.blogspot.com

  So I found this awesome blog post and fell in love with it. Love at first read♥ Funny how a simple post can change your life. I love this article! It really did motivate me and opened my eyes to see some of my relationships from a different point of view. Especially, nowadays, people do not take relationships seriously.,they treat marriage like a game. Maybe this article will help you straighten up your relationship or even your life ♥

Again, I dint right this post, it was just too beautiful not to re-copy or re-post it. My only intention is to spread the goodness and love in this beautiful article :)  subscribe to their blog I can assure you, you'll be inspired. http://www.marcandangel.com/ I love this blog. It always gives me something to think about that inevitably changes my perspective. 

 Family isn’t always blood.  They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be.  These people – your real family – are the ones who truly matter.

Here are twenty tips to help you find and foster these special relationships.

1. Free yourself from negative people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
2. Let go of those who are already gone. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.  So when people walk away from you, let them go.   Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.  It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.
3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance. – When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone hasgone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.  So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
4. Show everyone kindness and respect. – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.  People will notice your kindness.
5. Accept people just the way they are. – In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
6. Encourage others and cheer for them. – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
7. Be your imperfectly prefect self. – In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress.  Be your imperfectly perfect self around them.  We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are.  And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
8. Forgive people and move forward. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.  Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
9. Do little things every day for others. – Sometimes those little thingsoccupy the biggest part of their hearts.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.
10. Pay attention to who your real friends are. – As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.  Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.
11. Always be loyal. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.  When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.  Loyalty is everything.
12. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you. – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.  Paying attention to these people is a priority.
13. Keep your promises and tell the truth. – If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.  Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts.  Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours.  Always be open and honest.
14. Give what you want to receive. – Don’t expect what you are not willing to give.  Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
15. Say what you mean and mean what you say. – Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning.  Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.
16. Allow others to make their own decisions. – Do not judge others by your own past.  They are living a different life than you are.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another.  What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.  Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.
17. Talk a little less, and listen more. – Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
18. Leave petty arguments alone. – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.  There are many roads to what’s right.  And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much.  Read How To Win Friends and Influence People.
19. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary. – No one has the right to judge you.  They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through.  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently.  So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right.  What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.
20. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters?  When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there?  When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

 Toodles! :)

 

  Love always, 

 

 

 Me <3  

Kissed 2011 Bye, bye and Bear hugged 2012

 

   It was the year you felt like you're on the verge of holding on and letting go; living inside your troublesome labyrinth and almost like dying bit by bit.  It was the year you felt all the pain you could bear and felt like burying them 6 feet below you just so you could gather up all the courage you need to fake that one smile that could change entirely almost everything at that exact moment you're breathing but 2011 is finally over, you are now relieved for another year had arrived: 2012-- The year you believe is yours. The year you believe that you are going to make things happen instead of just waiting for them to happen and wishing on stars, 11:11, wishing wells and airplanes. Time to jump higher for 2012 might be the year of your life. 

Time to kiss 2011 Ciao! Ciao! with your red lipstick on and Hug 2012 like you'll never let it go to waste! ;) I did that with some photos of course! HAHA! I just wanted to welcome 2012 fabulously and sexily. Being gorgeous on New Year's Eve is a pretty great start I must say.. GORGEOUS ALL THE WAY! <3 Here's a collage of myself during NYE. LOL. :))

Wearing: Blue and white striped cropped top/ ADMU Tag/ RED LIPSTICK

 

Cheers to 2012! Cheers to this year where we are all going to face new challenges and new oppurtunities. Where we are all going to be stronger than we were the last year. Where we are going to be better people NOT BITTER. The year where we are all going to be happier and we are going to aim higher for sky is not just the limit but the universe! We are all going to make things happen this year. We are all going to be supercalifragelisticexpialidociously awesome! We are going to meet new people who are going to be a part of our life for who knows how long? A week, a month, a year for 10 minutes or maybe.. just maybe.. a lifetime.  This is the year to take all the risks, to not be afraid at anything at all. To just say yes at opportunities. To never decline a nice offer. To never push away love but instead embrace it. This year is going to be mine, yours-- OURS, we must own it and never let it go to waste. For 2012 is a year full of GOOD VIBES and Laughter. :) <3

We will all start fresh and we will be someone new. A better version of ourself. Someone who isn't afraid at anything. Someone who has the strongest faith in God. Someone who's no longer going to cry at the littlest things but instead see the beauty in it and turn things around. :) Someone who's going to make a good thing out of a bad situation. <3

"New Year's day is every man's birthday." -Charles lambs 

 HELLO, 

Make..

  Because Baby you're a..

"Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go." -Brooks Atkinson 

So to all you lovely people, Happy New Year again! :) Have an awesome yeaar, and God Bless us always! <3





Toodles! xx






Love Always,
Me